It has been said that we come to teach what we need to learn the most, and that has felt true in my life. For me, having had several near-death experiences by the time I was 28, I needed to learn how to be present in my body.

Up until that time, I felt cursed with a sensitive nervous system, one that did not know how to slow down. Nor did I understand the depth of my trauma. Even though I had been practicing yoga and meditation daily for years, my anxiety increased. It soon became clear that I was beginning to awaken into my body and into the pain my body was holding.

At 28, the year of my Saturn return, I had a life-changing awakening, which I would later come to understand as a kundalini rising. It was both a frightening and awesome experience for me, and extremely challenging to integrate in a nervous system that was already intensely sensitive.

Through this fate, I was living in a prison-like reality for months, with only flimsy cardboard barriers of my ego left over. I was called to pass through many dangerous passages of my dying ego structure, and it ultimately crumbled in a matter of weeks.

The intensity of my symptoms included 8-hour-long panic attacks for days on end, a resting heart rate of 105, and blood pressure that boomeranged from high to low in a matter of seconds. The culmination of this experience happened on a meditation retreat in Bali, where I went into cardiac arrest. I awakened floating just outside my body, and was summoned back in. It was a life-changing moment.

During the next several years, I learned to integrate this profound experience with the help and guidance of many gifted practitioners. I came to understand the depth of energy systems and trauma in ways that most people, including yoga teachers, and health practitioners, could not explain.

This was a deeply humbling process. Over the course of time, I learned and practiced an ever-deepening commitment to accept and know my Self. I recognized that I had walked to the edge of darkness only to turn back—a choice that felt like I was making a u-turn in an ocean liner.

Using my intuition for educational choices and working regularly with practitioners that resonated with me, little by little I was healing and awakening. I was developing safety and trust in my relationship to my Self. My once imprisoning nervous system was a gift of healing—helping me to feel, see, and sense the depth of consciousness, the Divine Mystery and its radiant reflection in the Being that I am.

My journey has been humbling, grace-filled, painful, and deeply liberating, all of which has been a remarkable adventure. I can now move at the pace of health, to regulate myself and to enjoy the Stillness, Silence, Peace and Joy within.

Through a deep exploration of personal trauma on all levels, I can be present with the tension of opposites inside of me with wonderment and courage. I’ve been fortunate to develop a felt-sense of my own wholeness, lightness of being, and health.

Today, I can hold a strong, yet fluid container with ever-deepening levels of safety, healthy, accurate mirroring, compassion, and presence for my clients’ healing and integration. I feel blessed that I can facilitate with extraordinary reverence.

I am honored to reflect redemption and radiant love, and look forward to working with those who walk this beautiful and often challenging path of soul liberation and embodied transformation.

In loving,
Angelica

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